JUST CLONING AROUND

I was in the lab, drifting on and off near sleep, and reflecting on the holograms we were developing. How they might serve mankind well as disposable proxies for humans in vocations such as search and rescue, police work, firefighting, and other risky occupations. How they might even work as effective decoys and facades, even as actual substitutes for SWAT teams, ICE agents, bomb disposal personnel, and other paramilitary purposes. If we could only make them more functional and durable integrate basic robotic frames into them, like those being developed in our robotics division.

 

The problem has been that, holograms tend to fade when exposed to sunlight or even bright interior light. They become translucent and even disappear in bright light conditions of any kind. For this reason, I've been formulating a transportable pigmentation process (TPP) to resolve the refraction, reflection, and dispersion of color in tissues that holograms are exposed to in sunlight and other bright conditions.   

TPPs that can ideally vary and control exposure from all lighting conditions and redirect all harmful wavelengths to the surrounding environment, thus protecting their realistic textures and surfaces, both solid and flexible, and allowing holograms to remain lifelike and visually stable in all potential situations. 

This all sounds very complicated and technical because it is. It proved to be the most difficult technical challenge of my chemistry and physics background that I would experience in my thirty-five years working at Pacific Tech for the Skunkco Consortium.

 

Presently, our holograms appear lifelike and accurate enough, and even realistic, but when transported, they always arrive at their destination with a soft and spongy physical feel to them. I once transported a few trial samples to colleagues, as gag gifts. They looked realistic, but upon receipt, the toasters and laptops I sent looked perfectly real, but projected themselves as soft, Grade D, polyurethane foam (even softer than memory foam). Unfortunately, these items also burst into flame when exposed to temperatures of over 45°F.  Skunkco, our corporate sponsor and the foundation for my departmental research grants, took a big hit on its liability insurance. 

My wife had nothing but praise for the fifth-generation "clone" we developed of her. This proxy of her physical, emotional, and mental being was very successful for a time, serving well at faculty affairs and gatherings as a substitute in situations where my wife had always felt like the wallflower. 

Unfortunately, after six months into the service of this beta-clone,  I received a letter of reprimand due to her clone's inappropriate activities in an upstairs bedroom at a frat party. Apparently, it somehow "jelled out" beneath an uninformed postdoc, while performing unscheduled duties which it was not programmed for, ruining everything from the sheets through to the box springs and below.

That poor student is still recovering at a campus-funded mental health institute. I later heard that the hostess of that party had to change the carpet in the affected room, only to find beautiful antique hand-laid hard oak and walnut herringbone floors underneath, which she soon had professionally refinished. It raised the value of the already overvalued home overlooking Arroyo Seco by more than ten thousand dollars after the owner of the sponsored frat house brought in an appraiser for further investigation

So it seems that this single incident of this one clone jelling out was not a total loss. The poor kid, however, who melted or jelled down atop my wife's doppelganger, pretty much freaked out and went into some sort of deep neural-rooted shock. It was only by good fortune that campus security was patrolling near the party and handled the matter with their usual professional dispatch.  The Skunko Board of Directors sent the lad a card full of goodwill wishes and hopes that he gets well fast. For a speedy recovery!  The Pacific Tech Board of Trustees offered him a one-semester scholarship should he ever return to his research. 

Unfortunately, none of that has yet to transpire as the boy remains under life support in a catatonic coma. I hear tell that his parents visit him regularly, holding his hand, and relating stories of old times to the unrecieving youth.

Two months after that party, I received encouragement from the board at Skunco in the form of a 'black text,' congratulating me for my recent leaps in clone innovations, including longer stability and increased longevity. I garnered a ten-year extension to my grant supporting continued research funding towards my pigmentation and cloning development. And, would I please accept this support and a substantial bonus, which they will be happy to match towards my favorite charities.

 

 

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I was drifting off in the lab, reflecting on holograms and how they could serve well as proxies for humans at search and rescue, how they could be effective decoys and facades for police and military purposes. 

 

Because holograms tend to fade in sunlight or bright interior light,  I've been formulating a transportable pigmentation process to resolve the refraction and dispersion of color in sunlight issues.   Creating realistic textures and surfaces, solid, flexible and lifelike, was more technical, challenging my chemistry and physics background to their fullest extent. 

 

Presently holograms appear accurate enough, even realistic, but always arrived soft and spongy at a transport destination. I sent a few samples to colleagues, as gag gifts,  but they arrived as soft toasters and laptops.  Unfortunately, they burst into flame when plugged in.  Skunkco took a big hit on its liability insurance. 

My wife has had nothing but praise for the "clone" we've made of her. The proxy has been very successful at faculty affairs and gatherings where my wife had always felt like the wallflower. The following week I received a letter of reprimand due to clone activities in an upstairs bedroom. Apparently she "jelled out" beneath an uninformed junior executive, ruining everything from the sheets through to the box springs.

I later heard that the hostess changed the carpet only to find beautiful antique hand-laid hard oak and walnut floors underneath which she soon had professionally refinished. It raised the value of the already overvalued home overlooking the seco by more than ten thousand and brought in an appraiser for further investigation

So the clone jelling out was not a total loss The poor kid, however, who melted or jelled down atop my wife's doppelganger, pretty much freaked out and went into some sort of shock. Fortunately, company security was patrolling the party and handled the matter with their usual professional dispatch. We executives all signed our goodwill wishes to a get well card hoping him a speedy recovery. We were told this was delivered with other emphatic perks monthly to the very most elite institute of care dealing with such matters.

Two days after the party I received encouragement from the board in the form of a 'black' text congratulating me for my recent leaps clone innovations stability and longevity, and to supporting my continued research would please accept this support this substantial bonus which we will be happy to match to your favorite charities.